


A Private Moment

by XenoSapian



Series: The Moments Trilogy [1]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Geth, Invasion of Privacy, Normandy SR-2 - Freeform, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6132991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XenoSapian/pseuds/XenoSapian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A private conversation between Shepard and Tali unfortunately turns much more public when the entire Normandy crew starts eavesdropping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Private Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Mass Effect is an intellectual property of BioWare, a division of EA Games. 
> 
> I make no money from this story.

The first thing he noticed was the smell of burning.

Shepard prided himself on having keenly honed senses; sharpened over the many years of his life – or in the Commander’s case, months, ever since he’d been _‘resurrected’_ a little under a year ago by the very organisation he was now pledged to destroy. He’d been rebuilt literally from the ground up, with some of his organs replaced or augmented by cybernetics to enhance his abilities. He was now 30% synthetic. A fact that anyone else in the same position should have found deeply disturbing, but as people were often fond of telling him, he was a unique case.

The engineering deck was hazy with a faint mist that clung to the ceiling; further evidence of the fire that had recently been subdued. The scent of the room was palpably different and he endeavoured to follow the odour to its source; hailing the relaxed face of Chief Engineer Adams as he made his way through.

Crewmen Donnelly and Daniels were at their stations arguing comfortably with each other. He liked the pair of them. They added to the relaxed atmosphere of the deck, and, more importantly, Tali liked them. There was simply no hint of xenophobia in the couple, which had surprised him when he’d first encountered them considering they were Cerberus crew at the time. The pair treated Tali, a quarian, with absolute respect, and not just because she and he were involved. No, they’d welcomed her from the moment she’d stepped on-board; back when the Normandy was a Cerberus vessel. Was that really just a few months ago? So much had happened since then. They’d defeated the Collectors; defected from Cerberus; been detained by the Alliance; invaded by the Reapers; cured the genophage; made peace between the quarians and the geth, and, most fundamentally, he’d found the woman he loved. And she wasn’t even human. He’d had quite the conversation with his mother about that!

He couldn’t help but find himself smiling ever since they’d come back from Rannoch – despite the war, despite everything that was happening, he was happy Tali was aboard; back where she belonged – Miss vas Normandy indeed.

Since the official end to hostilities, the quarians and the geth had been in constant contact with the Alliance. The Normandy had become a go-between, and it helped that the ship had both a quarian and an AI crewman who could act as intermediaries. Tali advised the Admiralty Board and provided feedback from the Normandy, while EDI coordinated with the geth, instructing them on the behaviour of organics. If this armistice; this Coalition, was to last, then the geth needed to know how to interact with humans, and visa-versa. Shepard had instructed EDI to provide the geth with a psychological overview of humanity to assist their engineers help build the Crucible.

He found Tali lying flat on her back, her legs sticking out of the service duct she was squeezed into as she laboured with repairs. There were still a few wisps of smoke drifting out of the duct. Shepard wandered down the corridor close to the Drive Core and surreptitiously softened his approach hoping to surprise her.

“Shepard,” Tali welcomed him cheerfully, “good to see you.” The Commander wasn’t entirely sure how she knew it was him, from that angle he was pretty sure all she could see was his feet.

“Hey, Tali. You busy?”

“Always,” she replied wryly. “Just repairing the heat sinks in the propulsion system - The diffusers overloaded when I rerouted the heat flow. I thought it would improve the Normandy’s stealth drive. It works on quarian ships. Well, long story, but I think I can steal a moment with you.”

Shepard bent down to help Tali out of the vent. She wiggled out of the shaft and he held her hand as she struggled upright before she leapt lithely onto the catwalk. He caught her around the waist and held her there; his grip lingering far longer than was strictly necessary.

Hesitantly, he freed her from his arms and stepped back slightly. “I… just wanted to thank you for your gift,” he said after a few moments, recollecting the picture of herself she’d given him. “It’s beautiful. I’m impressed you found time to pose for it.”

“Oh, I didn’t,” she replied. Shepard frowned in confusion. “Those pictures are extremely popular among the flotilla,” Tali continued, “but because of the sterile environment we rarely get a chance to sit for portraits.”

“Oh, I just assumed…”

“Most quarians are reluctant to remove their helmets even in clean rooms, and it’s especially difficult if someone else is present. A digital artist put that together for me using my suits biometric data and epidermis sensor logs.”

“Really? He does good work.”

“It’s not bad,” Tali conceded. “I’m not crazy about the lens-flare, and I don’t think he got my hand quite right.”

“Maybe he was rushed?” Shepard suggested. “You did say the portraits were popular.”

“True. It was a last minute decision. But, this was important. I wanted to give you something special.”

“I did get something special, Tali,” Shepard assured her, reaching forward to cup her mask in his hand. “I got you.”

Her immediate reaction was one he should have expected. She burst into a fit of giggles. “And just like that the magic is gone,” she spluttered haltingly.

“I need more practice sweet-talking, don’t I?”

“We can work on it,” she promised, holding his hand in her own. “That, and your dancing…”

“And what could possibly be wrong with my dancing?” Shepard asked, a wry grin spreading across his face.

“Let’s just say that it needs some refining,” Tali replied. “I’d be happy to help you develop your skills.”

“Deal,” Shepard said firmly. “I’ll admit I probably need the practice. Dancing hasn’t exactly been the most important skillset in my line of work.”

“It’s all about coordinating with your partner,” Tali stated, edging closer to him. “It’s about trust and falling into a rhythm with the one you’re holding.” Her hand brushed up Shepard’s arm. “Dancing is very simply about relaxing and letting the music guide your movements. Becoming totally synched with another person’s body until everything else fades away and you’re lost in a universe composed entirely by two twisting, writhing forms….”

“That… sounds wonderful,” Shepard said finally, suddenly realising he’d gathered her up in his arms. “So, how bad am I? I mean, how do I compare to quarians?”

“It’s not like you’re a hopeless case, Shepard. But, you need some work. Fortunately, I can teach you some of the moves I’ve learned from the flotilla, if you’re interested?”

“Very. It’d make sense to learn from the best. You have lots of dances back home?”

“We’re a very sociable people; plenty of dances to learn. But, I’m by no means the best dancer on the Normandy.”

“Oh? Who might that be?”

“That would be Garrus.” Shepard’s eyes widened in surprise. “Seriously, have you ever seen a turian dance before?” Tali added. “You should have seen him back on Omega. That turian can be quite limber for someone…”

“… _With a pole up his ass_?” A voice interrupted over the intercom.

The pair raised their heads at the sound of the voice.

“Joker?”

“ _Yes, Commander_.”

“How long have you been listening?” Shepard demanded.

“ _About ten minutes_ ,” the disembodied voice of Garrus replied. “ _We’ve been monitoring internal communications ever since you came back from Rannoch. Following you around mostly, Shepard_ ,” the turian added without shame. “ _You know, since you brokered a peace by yelling loudly at the combatants; I’ve been wondering what you’d do for an encore_.”

“Don’t you have a gun to calibrate?” Tali snapped.

“ _Yes_ ,” Garrus conceded, “ _but even a turian can only take so much calibration in one day. A wise man must know when to take a break and step back_.”

“This would one of those times, Garrus!” Tali warned.

“ _Readying your shotgun, are we Tali_?”

“I’m seriously considering it…”

“ _I’d pay good money to see that_ ,” a third voice stated. Self-consciously, Tali and Shepard released one other from their embrace.

“Ash, this is a private conversation!” Shepard exclaimed.

“ _Doesn’t seem that private at the moment, sir_ ,” Ashley countered. “ _And don’t worry; it’s not in my nature to eavesdrop. I didn’t even know you were being monitored. Vega suggested calling Joker to set up another game of poker, but I have to admit this is much more interesting_!”

“James? You’re there too?” Shepard demanded.

“ _She overpowered me, Commander. I was totally at her mercy..._ ” There was a definite hint of mirth to Vega’s voice.

“And just how are you monitoring this call?” Tali challenged, her question being answered just a second later when the voice of Cortez piped in:

“ _Who gave you permission to use my console_?”

“ _You snooze you lose, Esteban_!” Vega replied.

“So, you’ve just been spying on everything I do?” Shepard asked, a slight edge creeping into his voice.

“ _No, actually that was just bad timing on your part. You walked in on something else_ ,” Garrus admitted. “ _Mostly we’ve been listening to Donnelly and Daniels squabble_.”

“Say what now?” the voice of Donnelly drifted over from around the corner.

“ _The engineer’s interactions have been extremely educational_ ,” an electronic voice put in.

“EDI?” Shepard asked; this conversation was becoming more like a debate.

“ _Yes, Commander. I regularly monitor Normandy comm-traffic and analyse the crew’s social interactions. Relations amongst the crew help me to anticipate how psychological performance will vary dependant on divergent scenarios. The engineer’s conduct are atypical – Exceptionally divergent and worthy of further study_.”

“You hear that Gabby? We’re nothing if not unique,” Kenneth stated approvingly.

“The appropriate term for you Kenneth would be ‘special’!” Daniels retorted.

“And it is interesting how certain behavioural patterns are not limited by species,” EDI continued. “Some of Donnelly and Daniels’ exchanges are reminiscent of charcters from turian classical humourist literature.”

“EDI!” Daniels’ voice yelled.

“ _I have archived their exchanges for future reference and supplied copies to the geth as instruction aids to facilitate understanding of organic behaviour,”_ EDI added, _“as per your orders, Shepard_.”

“We’re being used as instruction aids?” Donnelly asked incredulously. “Do we get some sort of revenue for that?”

“Very unlikely, Kenneth,” Daniels opined.

“Hang on a minute, are you’re saying me and Gabby are gonna be archived in the geth consensus? Like, forever?”

“ _Indeed. Your exchanges will likely colour the geth’s attitude towards, and future interaction with, organics_.”

“Oh, crap!” Donnelly exclaimed.

“I asked you to provide general psychological profiles from our files so the geth could better interact with us, not use the crew as examples!”

“ _The source wasn’t specified, Shepard. And the crews’ current psychological profiles were more relevant than those archived in my databanks. A more personal assessment of organics seemed the most logical and honest course of action. Consequently, my own experiences as part of the crew have been collated and sent as a frame of reference_.”

“ _Wait, what_?” Joker interrupted her. “ _You’ve sent recordings of yourself to the geth? You can’t be serious! Does that mean all our… activities have been archived too? As in **everything?”**_

_“Yes,”_ EDI said simply.

“ _So, right now, some geth somewhere is gonna be looking at a recording of my face through your eyes_?!”

“ _Yes. Most likely several hundred thousand will be viewing it at any one time when they are networked_.”

_“Damn!”_ Ashley’s dulcet tones sounded over the speakers. “ _Joker, you’re the star of your very own reality show. And it’s catalogued everything you’ve ever done!  Do you think the geth will use it for educational purposes_?”

“ _Okay, there’s a mental image I didn’t need_ ,” James stated.

“ _I’m not sure the geth will fully appreciate the content_ ,” Liara’s voice suddenly chimed in over the comm before Javic’s voice added:

“ _You are correct, asari. That is a most troubling vision_.”

“Alright, enough! Will everyone stop monitoring everyone else’s activities for five minutes?” Shepard demanded. “In case you people hadn’t noticed we are trying to have a moment here!”

The comm chatter was briefly inundated by contrite, overlapping apologies:  “Yes, Commander”; “Sorry, sir”; “Logging you out, Shepard”; “See you, Commander”; “As you wish, Shepard.”

The Commander wasn’t sure this private conversation could get much more crowded until the voice of Traynor broke over the intercom:

“ _Commander, Admiral Hackett is available on vid-comm_.”

“Oh, for pity’s…” Shepard muttered.

“You go save the Galaxy,” Tali stated firmly, pushing Shepard away. “I’ll deal with the neighbours…”

Reluctantly, Shepard moved away from her and turned, striding out of Engineering. Tali watched him leave then raised her voice to be heard by anyone who might be still listening:

“EDI, be a dear and open the armoury, would you? I just need to retrieve my shotgun!”

EDI assented to her request and she strode out of Engineering. The comm was silent for several seconds until the voice of Garrus piped over the monitors:

“ _Err… Is it too late to request a transfer_?”


End file.
